New Year, New Me, Same 24 hours

If my girls read this Blog later in life, I want to let them know that Mom's NOT a quitter!

I haven't Blog in more than a month for VERY GOOD REASON!

They will remember that I was helping my friend Kris run her restaurant, and getting paid!

They will remember that I was helping Kris during the day while they were at school, but I was always back in time to pick them up from school.

-Would Dr. Laura hate that, or what?

They would remember the intense balancing act that Prince Charming and I mastered in order to get one girl to the Junior College pool four nights a week and make sure the Freshman was at basketball practice or games on time.

They might enjoying the entries in this blog. I imagine 8th grader will ask what most of them mean.

It will make sense that there aren't daily entries...cause in the same 24 hours I've added more activities.

They won't ask why I stopped.

Less time to play.

I sure sleep better though.

I'll be back, later.

Thanks for sharing

We lost a huge part of our family this summer. It's going to be a long time before any of us get over her absence.

I always thought her habit of listening to books was odd. Why not sit and relax and enjoy reading the words, turning the pages, enjoying the excitement- page after page.

She'd listen to books on tape (yes, cassette) while she cleaned the house, sewed, cooked, did yard work.

I thought it was silly, until I started listening myself.

I had to travel 95 miles from home for 10 days recently. I went to her library and was very excited to actually find books on CDs.

I been enjoying listening to books while I cook, clean and right now on the laptop.

I smile thinking of her. I smile imaging her face.

Thanks for sharing.

It's about ME, isn't it?

Me! Me! Me!

I've been away from home since Oct 26 learning how to run a restaurant. I won't be done until Saturday the 8th.

I've never been away from the family for this length of time.

I miss the family very much.

Prince Charming has been (luckily) able to work from home every day- thankfully able to be close to the teens, just in case.

Friends have stepped to make sure the teens get from home to school and visa versa.

The fridge is suffering. I'd think it would be empty, but I learned early in my time away that the three of them DON'T eat at home. "There's no time to cook," Prince Charming says. It seems most of the food I stocked it with, is still there. But, the bread, eggs, peanut butter, cereal, milk and popcorn are running low... Mmmmm?

I've been home 3x during my training and I've noticed much of the same items STILL in the SAME place. Whether it's the shampoo, the mail, the dryer sheet, the pencil, the wrapper, the dirty clothes (don't get me started on the laundry!)- it's obvious the unit can't run well as a 3some.

It's the 4some that makes our world go around.

But speaking of our world, buy a Time magazine for your kids today. Historical events occurred yesterday that will change our lives.

For the good, bad or ugly, I'm not sure yet.

Weather Change, Car Change

I had been driving the little car back and forth to Chico. It's the smart move cause I can fill it up with $30, I can park practically anywhere and I can almost open the back trunk from the driver's seat.

It's not; however, Wet Weather Approved.

On my way down the hill, back to Chico, on Friday night, I was lost in thought and 40 miles around a big curve was enough to spin the car in a circle and face me the opposite direction!

I didn't use profanities during my ride, I did talk to the big man upstairs, along with Prince Charming's Mom and my beloved Grandmother.

The little car was off when I had come to a stop in the opposite lane. I looked behind me (expecting to see what?) and quickly started the car. I drove over to the correct side of the road and parked. I practiced my Lamaze and realized I wasn't able to go home and get back in bed.

With an accelerated heart rate, butt cheeks tightened, fingers and hard holding tight to the wheel, I continued my journey.

'I'm OK' I repeated once I got back on the road while a huge semi passed me in the opposite direction (JUST in the nick of time!).

I worried the same about driving home. Small car, wonderful rainy and windy weather, wide open spaces on a little two lane road.

So, I close this entry with the comfort of knowing that little car shall be safe, warm and dry in the garage and I will be taking All-Wheel-Drive Big Car back to Chico.

Bring on the weather! (but make the week go by fast, OK?)

I'm tired of being away from those that matter most, that make me smile, that make me thankful, happy & loved.

Refreshed?

I drove home yesterday.

It rained yesterday.

I've been away from the family since Sunday night. I wasn't sure what to expect when I walked in. I had spoke, emailed, texts, communicated with them during the week but I wasn't sure what I should expect to SEE with my own eyes.

They survived.

No broken furniture, no broken bones, no failing grades, no empty tummy's.

Only a few things were 'neglected'. Yes, Laundry. I believe it's a clear indicator that the kids have -ENOUGH- clothes.

And the mail! Stacked on 1/3 of the kitchen table about as high as a juice glass.

And the new cell phone for Big Sis is gone. Luckily, less than $70 gone, but nonetheless, GONE. Some one at her High School decided hers was better than theirs and took it. Shit.

So last night, after loving and hugging and sharing my experiences face-to-face, I finished four days of laundry (not JUST mine) and fed most of the mail to the shredder.

I'm leaving again in an hour.

I'll be back home again tomorrow evening.

Tonight I learn what the Night Crew does... on Halloween of all times, in a business until 10pm. Oh, and don't forget the famous partying college town. Who KNOWS what I'm in for tonight. Mopping for sure.

This training experience is almost done. I have to keep saying that so the 8 days go by fast.

Anyone looking for a job? After this experience, we'll be ready for hiring!

Startling Discoveries

Day 3 was more eventful at the restaurant. (I still haven't slept well, but that's another blog, another day)

Anyway, 8am I found Jami to follow while she did the various processes (none of the Rocket Science) to preparing for opening at 11am.

By 9:45a we were done. Normally she came in later to do it, but her boss (the owner) thought it would be more helpful to give training 'time' so he asked her to come in early.

How much training does it take to open a can of dill pickles? I will admit that dill and butter pickles look the same in the bucket.

The morning continued nicely and the 'chores' were enough to fill the time until 2pm after the opening lunch rush.

As labor intensive as the tasks are, I need to remember that I am learning them so that I can train someone ELSE to do them at our place.

Kris continues to keep track of those office tasks that are able to be done from home (able for ME to do from home). Thank Goodness.

We left the restaurant today at 5pm. I was really tired, physically. Standing on my feet all day, moving around, bending, squatting. Really working.

I was trying to figure out where I was lacking and why I was in pain.

Yes, I've never had a job on my feet for more than the distance to and from the bathroom or the other desk I had to visit.

I have not worked in food service other than a small drive in. I walked from the back door to the front counter- rarely anywhere else.

But what I did realize, after we got back to the hotel and removed our shoes...

I am NOT used to have SHOES on my feet for so long. My shoes of choice are Teva's or nothing.

No clogs, no sneakers, no work shoes.

All natural baby.

I have got a LOT to learn!

Home Away from Home?

It's Night #2 of my 12 day adventure. No, make that Night #3, Day 2.

The morning started weird. I've never had a job that has required me to wear a uniform. Luckily it's the shirt- I can wear jeans and non skid shoes of my choice.

I choose the black button up. I like the 'professional' style. It made me look less like a trainee and more like an owner. I like that.

Yesterday was long and a bit boring. We listened, we read, we asked questions. The corporate guys (those in the family or in the business for a long time) did all the talking.

Today was supposed to be more active but ended up more computer & counting money. We were able to put away inventory; which was good cause Kris and I both like tidy rooms so we stacked and stocked in nice straight rows.

I miss my significant others. It's the 3rd night and I felt myself at various times during the day, mentally 'checking out', while I silently wondered what everyone at home was doing.

I have no problems with the room or the mate. Kris and I have known each other since 1989 and get along just fine. We are a lot alike, but very excepting of each others differences. Does that make sense?

We are old enough to say, I don't want to go out, you can go with me- and there is no hard feelings.

Big Girls.

Last night was exciting! We got back from the restaurant around 6pm and the 3 of us were enjoying a free drink in the bar (a perk of the suites)- and the fire alarm went off.

'Do we have to go?' We asked. As if it was Middle School... The bartender confirmed and out we went...drinks in hand of course.

To our surprise, the roof was on fire! An area that was being remodeled- of all things.

We spent an hour outside watching four firetrucks and lots of fireman put out the flames and rip holes in the ceiling of the rooms below. Luckily our room was on the opposite wing.

And imagine my surprise, when approaching the lobby to see if our return entrance was allowed- a friend from HOME was checking in for a two night stay!

I'm ready to go to bed, not cause I'm tired, but I can't help but think if I go to sleep my time here will be less.

Kris needs some jeans so exercise at the Mall will be a welcome change.

Come back tomorrow for the next update! I have to learn the process of preparing the condiment bar and everything the Shift Leader has to do before the doors open at 11am.

Night for now!

Differences

Their Mother grew up in a small town moved to a big city and moved back to a small town.

Their Father grew up in a big city and moved to a small town.

Their Mother was a social butterfly. Sometimes to the point of trouble, grounding, cutting school, trying drugs, trying booze before the 11th grade.

Their Father was a quiet boy. He was social with a few. He was rarely in trouble, usually came home before he was supposed to and never lied to his parents. He was able to try booze at an early age, because his parents were young enough to still have parties while he was growing up.

The older child is a quiet girl. She is social from behind her laptop and cell phone. She is friendly at school. She has yet to be in trouble. She is hardly ever out of the house.

The younger child is a social butterfly. Not yet to the point of trouble. She loves to be with her family and lives for times with her friends. Every event is usually questioned with, Can I bring a friend?

Their Mother keeps in contact with many friends from her early years- one as far back as PreSchool.

Their Father has friends from 7th grade, some from High School. He doesn't see them often and talks to them even less. But when they get together- they laugh.

Their Mother is realizing more and more than the Older Child cannot be the same as her or the younger child.

Their Mother knows deep inside that the success in life for the Older Child will not be the amount of friends she can count from grade school, but the amount of love, respect, laughter, comfort, education, support, guidance and structure she will continue to receive from the safety of the dwelling we call home.

Their Mother knows that the Younger Child seems to be making a path more similar to hers. Friendships.

Their Father reminds Mother that soon enough, the Older Child will be out of the house and no longer able to take space on the couch- from behind her laptop or cell phone.

Their Father reminds Mother that enjoying this time while they have it, as parents, is the most important part of the life they are creating for both children.

The Older Child lives by a saying their Mother enjoys,

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years."

Dear Grandma,

You always laughed when I called you that.. I know, I know- you're not MY Grandma. The name meant so much to you and is so significant in describing the meaning of your life, it seems appropriate.

It's been a little more than a month since you left this Earth. (For something bigger and better?)

We are doing our best to make sure that Tom isn't lonely. He seems to be doing his best to stay busy. This process comes with good and bad days, as you can imagine. He often walks around the house, shoulders down- sighing. He tells us that it hasn't hit him yet. He knows that it will. He says that he wakes up crying some nights, that might be the slow process of reality?

You can tell the house is still the same. Your spirit, your presence is everywhere. We wonder if he'll redecorate one day. I doubt it, maybe the decorations are his way of staying close to you. I can't begin to understand his pain.

Uncle Jerry spent the weekend with him recently. It was an obvious and necessary boost for him. They ate, drank and watched cable TV. This weekend they are at a car show in Reno. Tom called Candice last night and said he's having a great time. It's reassuring that his brother can do a wonderful job to take care of him. We can count on that.

Candice has gone back to work, but still seems to be living at your house less. I'm not sure what to make of it- other than the obvious quiet and clean vs. noise and cluttered with teenage boys of all shapes and sizes.

She seems to be doing okay. She doesn't talk of restless nights sleep or bad dreams. She is definitely at peace in your room, wearing your pjs, sleeping in the bed. Annie comes by often also. She is still cleaning on Thursdays.

We are doing good also. Every day is better than the last. I will never leave Prince Charming's side. We are a strong family unit and the girls are doing their best. They still ask if we can go to 'G & G's'. It's okay. They know your not there physically- they know that your spirit will always be with them.

We have your car. Talk about connections! It gets much better mileage than the big one- I will drive it to Burger Hut once it opens and it will be parked safe in the garage once the weather turns. Imagine THAT little thing in the snow up here?

We kept the personalized plate. It's fun to call it by name. It's our way of continuing to keep you close.

Give my Grandmother a big hug okay? I'm sure, by now, you've found each other. She continues to be part of my dreams and I am at peace knowing that both of you are watching over us.

I'll check in later, but feel free to keep in touch.

All my love,
Nanci

How do you do it?

Not THAT 'it' - I'm well versed in THAT.

Daily Blogging.

I sit down, I log on.
I think that I'm full of clever and compelling thoughts.

I log off and fill my time with other tasks around the house.

I come back to the lap top.
I stare.

I wonder... where does the creativity come from? I'm sure I have a lot to say, but who the hell wants to listen or read it?

I see badges on Blogs that indicate 100 in a row and I ask myself...

Hey, Self, is there something else you could be doing??

Enter Border Collie, dirty, lonely- wagging the entire back half of her body. Her sign language means, 'Let's go for a walk'